i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she peed on how many people?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize