that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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