And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
