She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
