So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
