so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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