Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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