bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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