When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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