If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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