He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
