I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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