They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
