Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
