Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
