absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
well you can't waste a boner
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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