You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
