First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
