This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i drank out of a bidet.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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