ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
