Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
