Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
