TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
