you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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