here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize