I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Let's paint friendship bongs
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Randomize
