do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
