Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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