Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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