I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
