just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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