dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
