I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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