Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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