I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
