she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
