Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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