o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
