so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
