I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
