The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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