Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Drunk is a universal language darling
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize