remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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