wakey wakey hands off snakey
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
