Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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