what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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