So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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