am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
