I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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