Your face is a jimmy john
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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