dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I can text with my tongue
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
