There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
