just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
