There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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