just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
