i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
