4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
