I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
