Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
