Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
