It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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